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5 HOME
580 CJ = 3
590 REM
600 GOSUB 990
601 IF C < > 3 THEN D%(3) = 3
610 GOSUB 1750: VTAB 24: HTAB 1
622 PRINT D$;"NOMON C,I,O": VTAB PEEK (37): CALL - 868
623 IF T%(C) = 0 THEN T%(C) = 1:T = 40: GOSUB 3750
625 IF C = 15 AND WR = 1 THEN PRINT "A PASSERBY KILLS ME FOR WEARING MY KINKYRUBBER IN PUBLIC!": GOTO 5000
630 GOTO 2000
990 POKE 34,0: VTAB 1: HTAB 1: CALL - 868
1000 ON C GOTO 1010,1020,1030,1040,1050,1060,1070,1080,1090,1100,1110,1120,1130,1140,1150,1160,1170,1180,1190,1200,1210,1220,1230,1240,1250,1260,1270,1280,1290,1300
1010 PRINT "I'M IN A HALLWAY.": RETURN
1020 PRINT "I'M IN A BATHROOM.": RETURN
1030 PRINT "I'M IN A SLEAZY BAR.": RETURN
1040 PRINT "I'M ON A STREET OUTSIDE THE BAR.": RETURN
1050 PRINT "I'M IN THE BACKROOM.": RETURN
1060 PRINT "I'M IN A FILTHY DUMPSTER!": RETURN
1070 PRINT "I'M INSIDE THE ROOM I BROKE INTO!": RETURN
1080 PRINT "I'M ON A WINDOW LEDGE.": RETURN
1090 PRINT "I'M IN A HOOKER'S BEDROOM.": RETURN
1100 PRINT "I'M ON A HOOKER'S BALCONY.": RETURN
1110 PRINT "I'M ON A DOWNTOWN STREET.": RETURN
1120 PRINT "I'M IN A QUICKIE MARRIAGE CENTER.": RETURN
1130 PRINT "I'M IN THE MAIN CASINO ROOM.": RETURN
1140 PRINT "I'M IN THE '21 ROOM'.": RETURN
1150 PRINT "I'M IN THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL.": RETURN
1160 PRINT "I'M IN THE HONEYMOON SUITE.": RETURN
1170 PRINT "I'M IN THE HOTEL HALLWAY.": RETURN
1180 PRINT "I'M ON THE HONEYMOONER'S BALCONY.": RETURN
1190 PRINT "I'M AT THE HOTEL DESK.": RETURN
1200 PRINT "I'M IN A TELEPHONE BOOTH.": RETURN
1210 PRINT "I'M IN THE DISCO.": RETURN
1220 PRINT "I'M ON A RESIDENTIAL STREET.": RETURN
1230 PRINT "I'M IN THE DISCO'S ENTRANCE.": RETURN
1240 PRINT "I'M IN THE PHARMACY.": RETURN
1250 PRINT "I'M IN THE PENTHOUSE FOYER.": RETURN
1260 PRINT "I'M IN THE JACUZZI!": RETURN
1270 PRINT "I'M IN THE KITCHEN.": RETURN
1280 PRINT "I'M IN THE GARDEN.": RETURN
1290 PRINT "I'M IN THE LIVING ROOM.": RETURN
1300 PRINT "I'M ON THE PENTHOUSE PORCH.": RETURN
1500 IF ST < > 2 THEN ST = 0
1510 PRINT : PRINT : PRINT "OTHER AREAS ARE: ";
1520 ON D%(C) GOSUB 1600,1603,1606,1609,1612,1615,1618,1621,1624,1627,1630,1633,1636,1639,1642,1645,1648,1651,1654
1534 PRINT ":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"
1535 CB = PEEK (37) + 1
1536 IF CJ < PEEK (37) THEN 1542
1538 FOR X = CB TO CJ: VTAB X: CALL - 868: NEXT
1542 POKE 34,CB: POKE 35,24:CJ = CB
1548 RETURN
1600 PRINT "NORTH AND EAST": RETURN
1603 PRINT "SOUTH": RETURN
1606 PRINT "NORTH AND WEST": RETURN
1609 PRINT "NORTH, EAST AND WEST": RETURN
1612 PRINT "WEST AND UP": RETURN
1615 PRINT "WEST": RETURN
1618 PRINT "NORTH": RETURN
1621 PRINT "SOUTH AND EAST": RETURN
1624 PRINT "NORTH AND DOWN": RETURN
1627 PRINT "SOUTH AND DOWN": RETURN
1630 PRINT "SOUTH, EAST AND WEST": RETURN
1633 PRINT "EAST AND UP": RETURN
1636 PRINT "SOUTH, WEST AND DOWN": RETURN
1639 PRINT "WEST AND DOWN": RETURN
1642 PRINT "SOUTH AND WEST": RETURN
1645 PRINT "BY MAGIC!": RETURN
1648 PRINT "NORTH, EAST AND UP": RETURN
1651 PRINT "UP": RETURN
1654 PRINT "EAST": RETURN
1750 REM VIS ITEMS RTN
1754 POKE 34,2: POKE 35,CJ: HOME : POKE 35,24
1758 PRINT "ITEMS IN SIGHT ARE: ";
1762 IF V1%(C,1) = 0 THEN PRINT : PRINT "NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!": GOTO 1500
1766 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1
1774 IF X < > 2 THEN PRINT ", ";
1778 ON V1%(C,X) GOSUB 0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1800,1801,1802,1803,1804,1805,1806,1807,1808,1809,1810,1811,1812,1813,1814,1881,1815,1816,1817,1818
1779 VV = V1%(C,X) - 27: IF VV < 1 THEN 1790
1780 ON VV GOSUB 1819,1878,1820,0,1821,1822,1823,1824,1825,0,0,0,0,1827,1828,1826,1829,1830,1831,1862,1834,1835,1850,1851,1852,1853
1782 VC = V1%(C,X) - 52: IF VC < 1 THEN 1790
1786 ON VC GOSUB 1853,1854,1855,1856,1857,1858,1859,1860,1861,0,0,1864,1865,1866,1867,1868,1870,0,0,1871,1872,1873,1874,1875,1876,0,0,0,1877,0,1879,1880
1790 IF LEN (VC$) < (38 - PEEK (36)) THEN PRINT VC$;: NEXT
1792 IF V1%(C,1) + 1 < X THEN 1796
1794 PRINT : CALL - 868: PRINT VC$;: NEXT
1796 IF C = 31 THEN RETURN
1797 GOTO 1500
1800 VC$ = "A DESK": RETURN
1801 VC$ = "A WASHBASIN": RETURN
1802 VC$ = "GRAFITTI": RETURN
1803 VC$ = "A MIRROR": RETURN
1804 VC$ = "A TOILET": RETURN
1805 VC$ = "A BUSINESSMAN": RETURN
1806 VC$ = "A BUTTON": RETURN
1807 VC$ = "THE BARTENDER": RETURN
1808 VC$ = "A BIG DUDE!": RETURN
1809 VC$ = "A FUNKY HOOKER": RETURN
1810 VC$ = "A BILLBOARD": RETURN
1811 VC$ = "A PREACHER": RETURN
1812 VC$ = "A TV": RETURN
1813 VC$ = "SLOT MACHINES": RETURN
1814 VC$ = "CARDS": RETURN
1815 VC$ = "AN ASHTRAY": RETURN
1816 VC$ = "A VOLUPTOUS BLONDE": RETURN
1817 VC$ = "A BED": RETURN
1818 VC$ = "A BUM": RETURN
1819 VC$ = "A PEEP HOLE": RETURN
1820 VC$ = "A DOOR TO THE WEST": RETURN
1821 VC$ = "A WAITRESS": RETURN
1822 VC$ = "A TABLE": RETURN
1823 VC$ = "A TELEPHONE": RETURN
1824 VC$ = "A CLOSET": RETURN
1825 VC$ = "A SINK": RETURN
1826 VC$ = "AN ELEVATOR": RETURN
1827 VC$ = "A DEALER": RETURN
1828 VC$ = "A CABINET": RETURN
1829 VC$ = "BUSHES": RETURN
1830 VC$ = "A TREE": RETURN
1831 VC$ = "A WINDOW": RETURN
1834 VC$ = "A SIGN": RETURN
1835 VC$ = "A GIRL": RETURN
1850 VC$ = "A NEWSPAPER": RETURN
1851 VC$ = "A WEDDING RING": RETURN
1852 VC$ = "A SHOT OF WHISKEY": RETURN
1853 VC$ = "A BEER": RETURN
1855 VC$ = "A HAMMER": RETURN
1856 VC$ = "GARBAGE": RETURN
1857 VC$ = "FLOWERS": RETURN
1858 VC$ = "THE CORE OF AN APPLE": RETURN
1859 VC$ = "SEEDS": RETURN
1860 VC$ = "CANDY": RETURN
1861 VC$ = "PILLS": RETURN
1862 VC$ = "A PLANT": RETURN
1864 VC$ = "A PASSCARD": RETURN
1865 VC$ = "A RADIO": RETURN
1866 VC$ = "A POCKET KNIFE": RETURN
1868 VC$ = "ADVENTUREBOY MAGAZINE": RETURN
1870 VC$ = "A RUBBER": RETURN
1871 VC$ = "A BOTTLE OF WINE": RETURN
1872 VC$ = "A WALLET": RETURN
1873 VC$ = "AN INFLATABLE DOLL": RETURN
1874 VC$ = "AN APPLE": RETURN
1875 VC$ = "A PITCHER": RETURN
1876 VC$ = "A STOOL": RETURN
1877 VC$ = "A ROPE": RETURN
1878 VC$ = "A DISPLAY RACK": RETURN
1879 VC$ = "A MUSHROOM": RETURN
1880 VC$ = "A REMOTE CONTROL UNIT": RETURN
1881 VC$ = "A CURTAIN": RETURN
2000 VTAB 24: HTAB 1:V = 0:N = 0:VB$ = "":NN$ = ""
2001 ONERR GOTO 2002: NEXT : NEXT : NEXT : NEXT : NEXT
2002 ONERR GOTO 2003: POP : POP : POP : POP : POP
2003 ONERR GOTO 8000:LZ = 0: POKE - 16368,0
2004 IF C = 30 AND TE = 1 THEN PRINT "THE TELEPHONE RINGS...."
2005 PRINT : INPUT "WHAT SHALL I DO? ";IN$
2010 IF LEN (IN$) = 0 THEN 2400
2011 IF IN$ = "SAVE GAME" THEN PRINT D$;"BLOAD CHAIN,A520": CALL 520" LOG LOG LOG "
2012 IF IN$ = "QUIT" THEN IN$ = "Q"
2014 IF IN$ = "SCORE" THEN PRINT "YOUR SCORE IS ";SC;" OUT OF '3'": GOTO 2000
2015 IF RR = 1 AND LEN (IN$) = 1 THEN 6240
2020 IF IN$ = "N" THEN 2500
2030 IF IN$ = "S" THEN 2600
2040 IF IN$ = "E" THEN 2700
2050 IF IN$ = "W" THEN 2800
2060 IF IN$ = "U" THEN 2900
2070 IF IN$ = "D" THEN 3000
2080 IF IN$ < > "Q" THEN 2090
2081 PRINT "SAVE GAME?? (Y/N)": INPUT IN$: POKE 34,0: IF LEFT$ (IN$,1) = "Y" THEN IN$ = "SAVE GAME": GOTO 2011
2082 HOME : NEW : END
2090 IF IN$ = "I" THEN 3500
2100 IF RIGHT$ (IN$,1) = " " THEN IN$ = LEFT$ (IN$, LEN (IN$) - 1): GOTO 2100
2105 IF IN$ = "LOOK" THEN T = 0: GOTO 3750
2110 FOR X = 1 TO 20
2120 IF MID$ (IN$,X,1) = " " THEN 2130
2122 IF LEN (IN$) = X THEN VB$ = IN$: GOTO 2195
2125 NEXT
2130 VB$ = LEFT$ (IN$,X - 1)
2140 NN$ = RIGHT$ (IN$, LEN (IN$) - X)
2155 IF LEFT$ (NN$,1) = " " THEN NN$ = RIGHT$ (NN$, LEN (NN$) - 1): GOTO 2155
2195 QVB$ = VB$:QNN$ = NN$
2196 IF LEN (NN$) > 3 THEN NN$ = LEFT$ (NN$,4)
2197 IF LEN (VB$) > 3 THEN VB$ = LEFT$ (VB$,4)
2198 IF LEN (NN$) > 3 THEN NN$ = LEFT$ (NN$,4)
2200 IF VB$ = "GO" THEN V = 1
2201 IF VB$ = "HAIL" THEN V = 2
2202 IF VB$ = "TAKE" OR VB$ = "GET" OR VB$ = "GRAB" THEN V = 3
2204 IF VB$ = "DROP" OR VB$ = "LEAV" OR VB$ = "PLAN" OR VB$ = "GIVE" THEN V = 4
2206 IF VB$ = "LOOK" OR VB$ = "SEAR" OR VB$ = "EXAM" OR VB$ = "READ" THEN V = 5
2207 IF VB$ = "FLUS" THEN V = 6
2208 IF VB$ = "OPEN" OR VB$ = "PULL" THEN V = 7
2210 IF VB$ = "INFL" THEN V = 8
2211 IF VB$ = "PLAY" THEN V = 9
2212 IF VB$ = "PRES" OR VB$ = "PUSH" THEN V = 10
2213 IF VB$ = "ENTE" THEN V = 11
2214 IF VB$ = "EAT" THEN V = 12
2215 IF VB$ = "DRIN" THEN V = 13
2216 IF VB$ = "BUY" OR VB$ = "ORDE" THEN V = 14
2217 IF VB$ = "CLIM" THEN V = 15
2218 IF VB$ = "WATE" THEN V = 16
2219 IF VB$ = "FILL" THEN V = 17
2220 IF VB$ = "POUR" THEN V = 18
2221 IF VB$ = "LIST" THEN V = 19
2222 IF VB$ = "CLOS" THEN V = 20
2223 IF VB$ = "JUMP" THEN V = 21
2224 IF VB$ = "MARR" THEN V = 23
2225 IF VB$ = "FUCK" OR VB$ = "SEDU" OR VB$ = "RAPE" OR VB$ = "SCRE" THEN V = 24
2226 IF VB$ = "WEAR" OR VB$ = "USE" THEN V = 25
2227 IF VB$ = "TV" THEN V = 22
2228 IF VB$ = "ANSW" THEN V = 27
2229 IF VB$ = "CALL" OR VB$ = "DIAL" THEN V = 26
2230 IF VB$ = "BREA" OR VB$ = "SMAS" THEN V = 28
2231 IF VB$ = "CUT" THEN V = 29
2232 IF VB$ = "DANC" THEN V = 30
2233 IF VB$ = "KILL" THEN V = 31
2234 IF VB$ = "PAY" THEN V = 32
2235 IF VB$ = "SMOK" THEN V = 33
2236 IF VB$ = "SHOW" THEN V = 34
2237 IF VB$ = "SMEL" THEN V = 35
2291 IF VB$ = "HELP" THEN PRINT "SORRY, THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE": GOTO 2000
2293 IF NN$ = "LADY" AND V < > 0 THEN PRINT "THAT'S NO LADY!!! THAT'S MY SISTER!!!!": GOTO 2000
2295 IF VB$ = "KISS" THEN PRINT "";: PRINT "DON'T DO THAT!!!! IT GETS ME EXCITED!!": GOTO 2000
2297 IF VB$ = "STAB" THEN PRINT "OK- WARMONGER!": FOR X = 1 TO 1000: NEXT : PRINT "PARRY!!": FOR X = 1 TO 500: NEXT : PRINT "THRUST!!!": FOR X = 1 TO 1000: NEXT : FLASH : PRINT "I JUST GOT MYSELF!!": NORMAL : GOTO 5000
2298 IF VB$ = "SAY" THEN PRINT "OK": PRINT QNN$: GOTO 2000
2299 IF VB$ = "TKAE" OR VB$ = "TAEK" THEN PRINT "LEARN TO SPELL IDIOT!": GOTO 2000
2300 IF NN$ = "NORT" THEN N = 1
2301 IF NN$ = "SOUT" THEN N = 2
2302 IF NN$ = "EAST" THEN N = 3
2303 IF NN$ = "WEST" THEN N = 4
2304 IF NN$ = "UP" THEN N = 5
2305 IF NN$ = "DOWN" THEN N = 6
2306 IF NN$ = "TAXI" OR NN$ = "CAB" THEN N = 7
2307 IF NN$ = "DESK" OR NN$ = "DRAW" THEN N = 8
2308 IF NN$ = "WASH" OR NN$ = "BASI" THEN N = 9
2309 IF NN$ = "GRAF" THEN N = 10
2310 IF NN$ = "MIRR" THEN N = 11
2311 IF NN$ = "TOIL" THEN N = 12
2312 IF NN$ = "BUSI" THEN N = 13
2313 IF NN$ = "BUTT" THEN N = 14
2314 IF NN$ = "BART" THEN N = 15
2315 IF NN$ = "DUDE" OR NN$ = "PIMP" THEN N = 16
2316 IF NN$ = "HOOK" THEN N = 17
2317 IF NN$ = "BILL" THEN N = 18
2318 IF NN$ = "PREA" THEN N = 19
2319 IF NN$ = "TV" THEN N = 20
2320 IF NN$ = "SLOT" OR NN$ = "MACH" THEN N = 21
2321 IF NN$ = "CARD" THEN N = 22
2322 IF NN$ = "CURT" THEN N = 23
2323 IF NN$ = "ASHT" THEN N = 24
2324 IF NN$ = "BLON" THEN N = 25
2325 IF NN$ = "BED" THEN N = 26
2326 IF NN$ = "BUM" THEN N = 27
2327 IF NN$ = "HOLE" THEN N = 28
2328 IF NN$ = "DISP" OR NN$ = "RACK" THEN N = 29
2329 IF NN$ = "DOOR" THEN N = 30
2330 IF NN$ = "MUSH" THEN N = 83
2331 IF NN$ = "WAIT" THEN N = 32
2332 IF NN$ = "TABL" THEN N = 33
2333 IF NN$ = "TELE" OR NN$ = "PHON" THEN N = 34
2334 IF NN$ = "CLOS" THEN N = 35
2335 IF NN$ = "SINK" THEN N = 36
2336 IF NN$ = "21" THEN N = 37
2337 IF NN$ = "ON" THEN N = 38
2338 IF NN$ = "OFF" THEN N = 39
2339 IF NN$ = "INVE" THEN N = 40
2340 IF NN$ = "DEAL" THEN N = 41
2341 IF NN$ = "CABI" THEN N = 42
2342 IF NN$ = "ELEV" THEN N = 43
2343 IF NN$ = "PLAN" THEN N = 47
2344 IF NN$ = "BUSH" THEN N = 44
2345 IF NN$ = "TREE" THEN N = 45
2346 IF NN$ = "WIND" THEN N = 46
2347 IF NN$ = "SIGN" THEN N = 48
2348 IF NN$ = "GIRL" OR NN$ = "EVE" THEN N = 49
2349 IF NN$ = "NEWS" OR NN$ = "PAPE" THEN N = 50
2350 IF NN$ = "RING" THEN N = 51
2351 IF NN$ = "WHIS" OR NN$ = "SHOT" THEN N = 52
2352 IF NN$ = "BEER" THEN N = 53
2353 IF NN$ = "BAG" THEN N = 54
2354 IF NN$ = "HAMM" THEN N = 55
2355 IF NN$ = "GARB" OR NN$ = "TRAS" THEN N = 56
2356 IF NN$ = "FLOW" THEN N = 57
2357 IF NN$ = "CORE" THEN N = 58
2358 IF NN$ = "SEED" THEN N = 59
2359 IF NN$ = "CAND" THEN N = 60
2360 IF NN$ = "PILL" THEN N = 61
2361 IF NN$ = "DISC" THEN N = 62
2363 IF NN$ = "PASS" THEN N = 64
2364 IF NN$ = "RADI" THEN N = 65
2365 IF NN$ = "KNIF" THEN N = 66
2367 IF NN$ = "MAGA" THEN N = 68
2368 IF NN$ = "RUBB" THEN N = 69
2371 IF NN$ = "WINE" THEN N = 72
2372 IF NN$ = "WALL" THEN N = 73
2373 IF NN$ = "DOLL" THEN N = 74
2374 IF NN$ = "APPL" THEN N = 75
2375 IF NN$ = "PITC" THEN N = 76
2376 IF NN$ = "STOO" THEN N = 77
2377 IF NN$ = "SHIT" THEN N = 87
2378 IF NN$ = "WATE" THEN N = 82
2379 IF NN$ = "YOU" THEN N = 86
2380 IF NN$ = "ROPE" THEN N = 81
2381 IF NN$ = "INVE" THEN N = 85
2382 IF NN$ = "RACK" THEN N = 29
2383 IF NN$ = "CONT" OR NN$ = "UNIT" THEN N = 84
2384 IF V = 21 THEN 5500
2385 IF V = 0 THEN PRINT "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ";QVB$;" SOMETHING!": GOTO 2000
2386 IF V = 26 THEN 5950
2387 IF V = 30 THEN 6250
2388 IF LEN (QNN$) = 0 THEN PRINT "GIMME A NOUN!!!!": GOTO 2000
2389 IF N = 0 THEN PRINT "I DON'T KNOW WHAT A ";QNN$;" IS!!": GOTO 2000
2390 ON V GOTO 3100,3120,3200,3250,3600,4500,4600,4650,4700,4800,4850,4900,4950,5150,5200,5250,5300,5350,5400,5450,5500,5550,5700,5800,5900,5950,6000,6150,6200,6250,6300,6350,6400,6450,6500,6600,6700
2400 PRINT "HUH?": GOTO 2000
2500 IF D%(C) = 1 THEN 2550
2505 IF D%(C) = 3 THEN 2550
2507 IF D%(C) = 4 THEN 2550
2509 IF D%(C) = 7 THEN 2550
2511 IF D%(C) = 9 THEN 2550
2513 IF D%(C) = 17 THEN 2550
2520 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
2550 IF C = 9 AND SC = 0 THEN PRINT "THE HOOKER SAYS 'DON'T GO THERE....DO ME FIRST!!!!'": GOTO 2000
2560 C = C + 1: GOTO 600
2600 IF D%(C) = 2 THEN 2650
2605 IF D%(C) = 8 THEN 2650
2610 IF D%(C) = 10 THEN 2650
2615 IF D%(C) = 11 THEN 2650
2620 IF D%(C) = 13 THEN 2650
2625 IF D%(C) = 15 THEN 2650
2630 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
2650 IF C = 17 AND GC < 5 THEN PRINT "THE DOOR IS LOCKED SHUT!": GOTO 2000
2660 C = C - 1: GOTO 600
2700 IF D%(C) = 1 THEN 2750
2705 IF D%(C) = 4 THEN 2750
2710 IF D%(C) = 8 THEN 2750
2715 IF D%(C) = 11 THEN 2750
2720 IF D%(C) = 17 THEN 2750
2725 IF D%(C) = 12 THEN 2750
2727 IF D%(C) = 19 THEN 2750
2730 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
2750 SS = 0:C = C + 2: GOTO 600
2800 IF D%(C) = 3 THEN 2850
2805 IF D%(C) = 4 THEN 2850
2810 IF D%(C) = 5 THEN 2850
2815 IF D%(C) = 6 THEN 2850
2820 IF D%(C) = 11 THEN 2850
2830 IF D%(C) = 13 THEN 2850
2835 IF D%(C) = 14 THEN 2850
2840 IF D%(C) = 15 THEN 2850
2845 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
2850 IF C < > 10 THEN 2852
2851 IF UR < > 1 THEN 5510
2852 IF C = 23 AND SS = 0 THEN PRINT "THE DOOR IS CLOSED!": GOTO 2000
2853 D%(23) = 2:C = C - 2: GOTO 600
2900 IF D%(C) = 5 THEN 2950
2905 IF D%(C) = 12 THEN 2950
2910 IF D%(C) = 17 THEN 2950
2915 IF D%(C) = 18 THEN 2950
2920 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
2950 IF C < > 5 OR SC < > 0 THEN 2953
2951 IF M < 10 THEN PRINT "THE PIMP SAYS I CAN'T UNTIL I GET $1000": GOTO 2000
2952 M = M - 10: PRINT "THE PIMP TAKES $1000 AND SAYS OK": GOTO 2960
2953 IF C = 5 AND BD = 0 THEN PRINT "THE PIMP SAYS 'NO WAY!!!! LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE!": GOTO 2000
2960 C = C + 4: GOTO 600
3000 IF D%(C) = 9 THEN 3050
3005 IF D%(C) = 10 THEN 3050
3010 IF D%(C) = 13 THEN 3050
3012 IF D%(C) = 14 THEN 3050
3020 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
3050 IF UR = 1 THEN UR = 0
3055 C = C - 4: GOTO 600
3100 IF RR = 1 THEN 6240
3101 IF N = 87 THEN PRINT "ON YOUR FACE, ASSHOLE!!!": GOTO 2000
3102 IF N = 1 GOTO 2500
3105 IF N = 2 GOTO 2600
3110 IF N = 3 GOTO 2700
3115 IF N = 4 GOTO 2800
3117 IF N = 5 GOTO 2900
3118 IF N = 6 GOTO 3000
3119 PRINT NG$: GOTO 2000
3120 IF N < > 7 THEN PRINT "WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE PULLING AT STRAWS, FOOL!": GOTO 2000
3129 IF C = 22 OR C = 11 OR C = 4 THEN T = 6: GOSUB 5100: GOTO 3134
3132 PRINT "I'M NOT ON A STREET, FOOL!!!": GOTO 2000
3134 OC = C: INPUT IN$
3140 IF LEFT$ (IN$,4) = "DISC" THEN C = 22
3150 IF LEFT$ (IN$,4) = "CASI" THEN C = 11
3160 IF IN$ = "BAR" THEN C = 4
3165 IF OC = C THEN PRINT "HUH? HAIL ANOTHER!": GOTO 2000
3170 FOR X = 1 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = 72 THEN 3190
3175 NEXT
3180 PRINT "WE ARRIVE AND I GET OUT!": GOTO 600
3190 SPEED= 20:T = 28: GOSUB 5100: SPEED= 255: PRINT : PRINT "WHAT SHALL I DO? ": FOR X = 1 TO 1000: NEXT
3195 POKE 34,0: PRINT "THE IDIOT CAB DRIVER BACKS OVER ME AND KILLS ME!!!!!!! PERMANENTLY!!!": NEW : END
3200 IF N = 40 THEN 3500
3201 IF N = 85 THEN 3500
3202 IF N < 50 THEN PRINT "I CAN'T DO THAT": GOTO 2000
3203 IF N = 82 THEN 5300
3204 IF C = 24 AND N = 69 OR N = 68 THEN PRINT "THE MAN SAYS SHOPLIFTER!! AND SHOOTS ME": GOTO 5000
3205 GOSUB 6100: GOSUB 3206: PRINT "OK": GOTO 3230
3206 IF V1%(31,1) > 7 THEN PRINT "I'M CARRYING TOO MUCH!!!": GOTO 2000
3207 T = 31:F = C
3210 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(F,1) + 1
3215 IF N = V1%(F,X) THEN RETURN
3220 NEXT
3225 PRINT "I DON'T SEE IT HERE!!": POP : GOTO 2000
3230 IF F = 31 THEN GOSUB 5650
3234 V1%(T,V1%(T,1) + 2) = N:V1%(T,1) = V1%(T,1) + 1
3235 IF X = V1%(F,1) + 1 THEN V1%(F,1) = V1%(F,1) - 1: GOTO 3240
3236 V1%(F,X) = V1%(F,V1%(F,1) + 1):V1%(F,1) = V1%(F,1) - 1: IF V1%(F,1) < 0 THEN V1%(F,1) = 0
3240 GOTO 610
3250 F = 31:T = C
3255 GOSUB 3260: GOTO 3230
3260 IF V1%(F,1) = 0 THEN 3285
3265 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(F,1) + 1
3270 IF N = V1%(F,X) THEN RETURN
3280 NEXT
3285 PRINT "I DON'T HAVE IT!!": POP : GOTO 2000
3500 PRINT "I'M CARRYING THE FOLLOWING:"
3510 IF V1%(31,1) = 0 THEN PRINT "NOTHING!!": GOTO 2000
3515 OC = C:C = 31: GOSUB 1762:C = OC: PRINT : GOTO 2000
3600 REM LOOK RTN
3602 IF N < 7 THEN PRINT "I'M TOO NEARSIGHTED, SORRY.......": GOTO 2000
3605 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1
3606 IF V1%(C,X) = N THEN 3620
3607 NEXT
3610 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1
3611 IF V1%(31,X) = N THEN 3620
3612 NEXT
3615 PRINT "IT'S NOT HERE!!!!!": GOTO 2000
3620 IF N = 8 AND DE = 0 THEN PRINT "IT'S DRAWER IS SHUT": GOTO 2000
3622 IF N = 8 AND DE = 1 THEN PRINT SS$:F = 32:T = C:N = 50:DE = 2: GOTO 3230
3630 IF N = 9 AND TI = 0 THEN PRINT SS$:T = 2:F = 32:TI = 1:N = 51: GOTO 3230
3632 IF N = 9 AND TI = 1 THEN PRINT "DEAD COCKROACHES....": GOTO 2000
3635 IF N = 10 THEN GOTO 3800
3640 IF N = 11 THEN PRINT "THERE'S A PERVERT LOOKING BACK AT ME!!!": GOTO 2000
3645 IF N = 12 THEN PRINT "HASN'T BEEN FLUSHED IN AGES! STINKS!!!!": GOTO 2000
3650 IF N = 13 THEN PRINT "HE LOOKS LIKE A WHISKEY DRINKER TO ME!!": GOTO 2000
3655 IF N = 14 THEN PRINT "SAYS PUSH": GOTO 2000
3660 IF N = 15 THEN PRINT "HE'S WAITING FOR ME TO BUY SOMETHING!": GOTO 2000
3665 IF N = 16 THEN PRINT "HE'S WEARING A BUTTON PROCLAIMING- SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL PIMP, GIMME $2000!!!": GOTO 2000
3670 IF N = 17 THEN T = 1: GOTO 5100
3675 IF N = 18 THEN 4150
3680 IF N = 20 AND TV = 0 THEN PRINT "ONLY IF YOU TURN IT ON! SAY 'TV ON'": GOTO 2000
3682 IF N = 20 AND TV = 1 THEN 5560
3685 IF N = 21 THEN PRINT "PLAYING THEM MIGHT BE MORE FUN....": GOTO 2000
3690 IF N = 23 THEN PRINT "IT'S ON THE EAST WALL": GOTO 2000
3693 IF N = 24 AND AS = 0 THEN PRINT SS$:AS = 1:F = 32:T = C:N = 64: GOTO 3230
3696 IF N = 25 THEN T = 10: GOSUB 5100: GOTO 2000
3699 IF N = 27 THEN PRINT "HE GRUMBLES- I'LL TELL YOU A STORY FOR A BOTTLE OF WINE.....": GOTO 2000
3702 IF N = 28 THEN T = 25: GOSUB 5100: GOTO 2000
3706 IF N = 29 AND MA = 0 THEN PRINT SS$:T = 24:F = 32:N = 68:MA = 1: GOTO 3230
3707 IF N < > 30 THEN 3712
3708 IF C < > 23 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
3709 IF DL = 0 THEN PRINT "A SIGN SAYS 'ENTRY BY SHOWING PASSCARD- CLUB MEMBERS AND THEIR GUESTS ONLY!": GOTO 2000
3710 IF DL = 1 THEN PRINT "IT'S UNLOCKED": GOTO 2000
3712 IF N = 32 THEN PRINT "SHE IGNORES YOU!": GOTO 2000
3715 IF N = 34 AND C = 20 THEN PRINT "A NUMBER IS THERE- 'CALL 555-6969 FOR A GOOD TIME!'": GOTO 2000
3718 IF N = 35 AND DD = 0 THEN PRINT "IT'S CLOSED": GOTO 2000
3719 IF N = 35 AND DD = 1 THEN PRINT SS$:F = 32:T = 29:N = 74:DD = 2: GOTO 3230
3720 IF N = 41 THEN PRINT "HE'S WAITING FOR ME TO PLAY": GOTO 2000
3721 IF N = 36 THEN PRINT "A SIGN SAYS 'WATER ON OR OFF TO OPERATE'": GOTO 2000
3722 IF N = 42 AND ST = 0 THEN PRINT "IT'S TOO HIGH!": GOTO 2000
3723 IF N = 42 AND ST = 1 THEN PRINT SS$:ST = 2:F = 32:T = C:N = 76: GOTO 3230
3724 IF N = 48 THEN PRINT "IT SAYS 'HAIL TAXI HERE'": GOTO 2000
3725 IF N = 43 THEN PRINT "IT'S DOORS ARE CLOSED": GOTO 2000
3726 IF N = 45 THEN PRINT SS$:N = 75:T = C:F = 32: GOTO 3230
3727 IF N = 50 THEN T = 2: GOTO 5100
3728 IF N = 58 AND AP = 0 THEN PRINT SS$:T = C:F = 32:N = 59:AP = 1: GOTO 3230
3729 IF N = 56 AND GG = 0 THEN PRINT SS$:N = 58:T = C:F = 32:GG = 1: GOTO 3230
3730 IF N = 61 THEN PRINT "THE LABEL ON THE BOTTLE SAYS 'WANT TO DRIVE SOMEONE CRAZY WITH LUST?? TRY THIS!!!!": GOTO 2000
3731 IF N = 44 THEN PRINT "ENTERING THEM WOULD BE KINKY!!": GOTO 2000
3732 IF N = 47 AND BU = 0 THEN BU = 1: PRINT "THERE'S A GROUP OF BUSHES BEHIND IT!!":T = C:F = 32:N = 44: GOTO 3230
3734 IF N = 65 THEN PRINT "MAYBE I SHOULD LISTEN....": GOTO 2000
3736 IF N = 68 THEN F = 31: GOSUB 3260:T = 3: GOTO 5100
3737 IF N = 69 THEN GOSUB 5817: PRINT "IT'S ";P1$;", ";P2$;"-FLAVORED, ": PRINT P3$;", AND ";P4$: GOTO 2000
3738 IF N = 49 AND C = 26 THEN T = 5: GOTO 5100
3739 IF N = 49 AND GC > 3 THEN PRINT "SHE SLAPS ME AND YELLS 'PERVERT!!!!!'": GOTO 2000
3740 IF N = 49 AND C < > 26 THEN T = 4: GOTO 5100
3742 IF N = 73 THEN PRINT "IT CONTAINS $";M;"00": GOTO 2000
3744 IF N = 74 AND ID = 1 THEN PRINT "IT'S INFLATED": GOTO 2000
3745 IF N = 74 AND ID = 0 THEN PRINT "IT'S ROLLED UP IN A LITTLE BALL!": GOTO 2000
3746 IF N = 76 AND PI = 0 THEN PRINT "IT'S EMPTY": GOTO 2000
3747 IF N = 76 AND PI = 1 THEN PRINT "IT'S FULL": GOTO 2000
3748 PRINT "I SEE NOTHING SPECIAL"
3749 GOTO 2000
3750 PRINT D$;OD$
3760 PRINT D$;RD$;C
3770 INPUT NA$: INPUT NB$: INPUT NC$: INPUT ND$
3780 PRINT D$;CD$
3790 PRINT NA$: PRINT NB$: PRINT NC$: PRINT ND$
3792 IF T > 5 THEN RETURN
3795 GOTO 2000
3800 POKE 34,0: INVERSE : HOME
3802 FOR X = 1 TO 24
3804 PRINT " "
3806 NEXT : RESTORE
3808 SPEED= 20
3810 DATA C,O,M,P,U,T,E,R, ,F,R,E,A,K,S, ,P,E,E,K, ,B,E,F,O,R,E, ,T,H,E,Y, ,P,O,K,E, ,I,',D, ,L,I,K,E, ,T,O, ,N,I,B,B,L,E, ,H,E,R, ,F,L,O,P,P,I,E,S,!
3811 DATA A,S,C,I,I,A,N,D,,Y,E, ,S,H,A,L,L, ,R,E,C,E,I,V,E
3815 VTAB 3
3820 FOR X = 1 TO 21
3830 READ X$: PRINT X$;: CALL - 922
3840 NEXT
3850 VTAB 5: PRINT
3860 FOR X = 1 TO 16
3870 READ X$: PRINT X$;: CALL - 922
3880 NEXT : VTAB 1: HTAB 3
3890 PRINT "AT MY APPLE IS WHERE I SIT,";
3895 VTAB 2: HTAB 3
3900 PRINT "WHEN I FEEL LIKE FONDLING IT'S BITS!"
3920 FOR X = 4 TO 22: VTAB X
3925 HTAB 35
3930 READ X$: PRINT X$;: NEXT
3950 FOR X = 4 TO 17: VTAB X: HTAB 37
3960 READ X$: PRINT X$: NEXT
3970 VTAB 6: HTAB 18: PRINT "THE PASSWORD IS:"
3972 VTAB 8: HTAB 20: PRINT "BELLYBUTTON": HTAB 10
3980 FOR X = 5 TO 13 STEP 2
3990 VTAB X: READ X$: PRINT X$;
4000 NEXT : HTAB 13: FOR X = 5 TO 18 STEP 2
4010 VTAB X: READ X$: PRINT X$;
4020 NEXT
4030 FOR X = 10 TO 20 STEP 2: VTAB X
4040 READ X$: PRINT X$;
4050 NEXT
4060 FOR X = 10 TO 22 STEP 2: VTAB X
4070 READ X$: PRINT X$;
4080 NEXT : NORMAL : SPEED= 255
4085 VTAB 24: HTAB 1
4090 PRINT "HIT ANY KEY TO RETURN TO GAME";
4100 IF PEEK ( - 16384) > 127 THEN POKE - 16368,0: HOME : GOTO 590
4110 GOTO 4100
4150 POKE 34,0: HOME : INVERSE
4160 FOR X = 1 TO 24: PRINT " "
4170 NEXT : VTAB 1
4175 VTAB 4
4180 VTAB 5: HTAB 5: PRINT "FOR THOSE WHO DESIRE THE BEST:"
4190 PRINT : HTAB 15: PRINT "ANNOUNCING"
4195 PRINT : HTAB 10: PRINT "THE MOST EXCLUSIVE,"
4200 PRINT : HTAB 13: PRINT "THE EXCITING,"
4210 PRINT : HTAB 8: PRINT "THE HOTTEST SPOT IN TOWN,"
4220 VTAB 15: HTAB 9: PRINT "SWINGING SINGLE'S DISCO"
4230 FLASH : VTAB 13: HTAB 7: PRINT "**************************"
4235 VTAB 17: HTAB 7: PRINT "**************************"
4240 FOR X = 13 TO 17: HTAB 7: VTAB X: PRINT "*"
4242 NEXT
4245 FOR X = 13 TO 17: HTAB 33: VTAB X: PRINT "*"
4247 NEXT
4250 NORMAL : GOTO 4085
4500 IF N < > 12 THEN PRINT "YOU'RE NUTS!!": GOTO 2000
4505 IF C < > 2 THEN PRINT "FIND ME ONE!": GOTO 2000
4510 SPEED= 20: PRINT "OK, HERE GOES.........................."
4520 PRINT "OH, NO!!!!!! IT'S OVERFLOWING!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FILLING THE ROOM WITH GROSS SEWAGE!"
4529 FOR X = 1 TO 300
4540 NEXT X
4550 NORMAL : SPEED= 255
4560 PRINT : PRINT "I'M DEAD FROM THE GERMS!!": GOTO 5000
4600 IF N < > 8 THEN 4615
4605 IF C < > 1 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4610 PRINT "OK":DE = 1: GOTO 2000
4615 IF N = 46 THEN PRINT "WON'T BUDGE": GOTO 2000
4630 IF N < > 30 THEN 4639
4631 IF C < > 23 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4632 PRINT "A VOICE ASKS 'PASSCARD??' I SEARCH IN MY POCKETS AND":F = 31:N = 64: GOSUB 3260: PRINT "I HAVE IT! THE DOOR OPENS!":D%(23) = 15:SS = 1: GOTO 600
4633 IF N < > 23 THEN 4639
4634 IF C < > 29 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4635 PRINT "IT'S SEEMS TO BE REMOTELY CONTROLLED!": GOTO 2000
4639 IF N < > 35 THEN 4646
4640 IF C < > 29 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4645 PRINT "OK":DD = 1: GOTO 2000
4646 IF N < > 42 THEN PRINT "UMMM..........................HUH??": GOTO 2000
4647 IF ST = 0 THEN PRINT "I CAN'T REACH IT!!"
4648 IF ST = 1 THEN PRINT "IT'S ALREADY OPEN!"
4649 GOTO 2000
4650 IF N < > 74 THEN PRINT "BUT THE PRIME RATE IS ALREADY 257%!!": GOTO 2000
4660 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = 74 THEN 4670
4665 NEXT
4666 PRINT "I CAN'T UNLESS I'M HOLDING IT CLOSE!!": GOTO 2000
4670 PRINT "OK":ID = 1: GOTO 2000
4700 IF N = 21 THEN 4720
4705 IF N = 37 THEN 4751
4715 PRINT "PLAYFUL BUGGER, EH??": GOTO 2000
4720 IF C < > 13 THEN PRINT "OK, SHOW ME YOUR SLOT.....": GOTO 2000
4725 PRINT "THIS WILL COST $100 EACH TIME"
4726 PRINT "YOU HAVE $";M;"00": PRINT "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY? (Y/N)": POKE - 16368,0: GET X$: IF X$ < > "Y" THEN 2000
4736 VTAB 24: INVERSE
4737 FOR Y = 1 TO 30
4740 X = INT ( RND (1) * 10) + 33:X1 = INT ( RND (1) * 10) + 33:X2 = INT ( RND (1) * 10) + 33:
4741 HTAB 1: PRINT CHR$ (X);: HTAB 13: PRINT CHR$ (X1);: HTAB 26: PRINT CHR$ (X2);
4742 NEXT : NORMAL : PRINT
4743 IF X = X1 AND X1 = X2 THEN PRINT "TRIPLES!!!!!! YOU WIN $1500":M = M + 15: GOTO 4726
4744 IF X = X1 OR X1 = X2 OR X = X2 THEN PRINT "A PAIR! YOU WIN $300":M = M + 3: GOTO 4726
4747 M = M - 1: IF M < 1 THEN PRINT "I'M BROKE!!!- THAT MEANS DEATH!!!!!!!!": FOR X = 1 TO 10000: NEXT : GOTO 5000
4750 PRINT "YOU LOSE!": GOTO 4726
4751 IF C < > 14 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4752 MI = 0:MD = 0:YD = 0:YM = 0:AD = 0:AM = 0: ONERR GOTO 4799
4753 PRINT "YOU HAVE $";M;"00": PRINT "HOW MANY DOLLARS WOULD YOU LIKE TO BET?": INPUT X: IF X / 100 > M THEN PRINT "YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH!!!": GOTO 4753
4754 PRINT "OK":A = 1: IF INT ((X / 100 - INT (X / 100)) * 100 + .05) * SGN (X / 100) < > 0 THEN PRINT "$100 INCREMENTS ONLY!!": GOTO 4753
4755 Z = INT ( RND (1) * 13) + 1:Y = 0:AC = 0: IF Z = 11 THEN IN$ = " JACK":Y = 1
4756 IF Z = 12 THEN IN$ = " QUEEN"
4757 IF Z = 13 THEN IN$ = " KING"
4758 IF Z < 10 THEN IN$ = S$ + CHR$ (Z + 48)
4759 IF Z = 10 THEN IN$ = " 10"
4760 IF Z > 10 THEN Z = 10
4761 IF Z = 1 THEN Z = 11:Y = 1:IN$ = "N ACE":AC = 1
4762 IF A = 1 OR A = 3 THEN INVERSE :MI = MI + Z: PRINT "YOU'RE DEALT A";IN$:YM = YM + Y:AM = AM + AC: NORMAL
4763 IF A = 2 THEN MD = MD + Z: PRINT "THE DEALER GETS A CARD DOWN":YD = YD + Y:AD = AD + AC
4764 IF A = 4 THEN MD = MD + Z: PRINT "THE DEALER GETS A";IN$:A = 5:AD = AD + AC:YD = YD + Y: GOTO 4770
4765 IF A = 5 THEN MI = MI + Z: INVERSE : PRINT "YOU GET A";IN$:AM = AM + AC: NORMAL : GOTO 4770
4766 IF A = 6 THEN MD = MD + Z: PRINT "THE DEALER GETS A";IN$:AD = AD + AC: GOTO 4784
4769 A = A + 1: GOTO 4755
4770 IF MI > 21 AND AM > 0 THEN AM = AM - 1:MI = MI - 10
4776 INVERSE : PRINT "YOUR TOTAL IS ";MI: NORMAL : IF MI > 21 THEN FLASH : PRINT "BUSTED!": NORMAL ::M = M - (X / 100): GOTO 4794
4780 IF YM = 2 AND MI = 21 THEN PRINT "YOU'VE GOT ***BLACKJACK***":M = M + ((X / 100) * 5): GOTO 4794
4781 IF YD = 2 AND MD = 21 THEN PRINT "THE DEALER HAS ***BLACKJACK***":M = M - (X / 100): GOTO 4794
4782 PRINT "WOULD YOU LIKE A HIT (Y/N)??": GET A$: IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 4755
4784 IF MD > 21 AND AD > 0 THEN AD = AD - 1:MD = MD - 10
4785 PRINT "THE DEALER HAS ";MD: IF MD < 17 THEN A = 6: GOTO 4755
4786 IF MD > 21 THEN 4790
4788 IF MI < MD THEN M = M - (X / 100): PRINT "YOU LOSE!": GOTO 4794
4789 IF MI = MD THEN PRINT "TIE!":M = M + 1: GOTO 4794
4790 PRINT "YOU WIN!!":M = M + (X / 100)
4794 IF M = 0 THEN PRINT "YOU'RE OUT OF MONEY!!": PRINT "SO LONG!!!!!!!!!!": GOTO 5000
4795 PRINT "PLAY AGAIN?? (Y/N)??": GET A$: IF A$ = "N" THEN 2000
4797 GOTO 4752
4799 PRINT "$100 INCREMENTS (NUMERIC) ONLY!!": GOTO 4752
4800 IF N < > 14 OR C < > 3 THEN 4810
4802 PRINT "A VOICE ASKS 'WHATS THE PASSWORD?' (ONE WORD)": INPUT IN$: IF LEFT$ (IN$,4) < > "BELL" THEN PRINT "WRONG!": GOTO 2000
4805 D%(C) = 4: PRINT "THE CURTAIN PULLS BACK!!": GOTO 600
4810 IF N < > 14 OR C < > 19 THEN 4815
4811 IF BG = 0 THEN PRINT "THE BLONDE SAYS 'YOU CAN'T GO THERE!'": GOTO 2000
4813 T = 7: GOSUB 5100
4814 C = 25: GOTO 600
4815 IF N < > 14 OR C < > 25 THEN 4820
4816 T = 7: GOSUB 5100
4817 C = 19: GOTO 600
4820 IF N < > 49 THEN PRINT "PUSHY CHUMP, EH???": GOTO 2000
4830 PRINT "SHE KICKS ME IN THE STOMACH AND LAUGHS!!": GOTO 2000
4850 IF N = 44 AND C = 15 AND BU = 1 THEN C = 28: GOTO 600
4857 IF N < > 46 THEN 4860
4858 IF C < > 8 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4859 GOTO 2600
4860 IF N < > 44 OR N < > 46 THEN 4875
4870 PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4875 IF N = 30 THEN 2800
4876 IF N = 46 THEN 2650
4877 IF N < > 62 THEN 4890
4878 IF C < > 23 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
4879 GOTO 2800
4890 GOTO 2400
4900 IF N = 25 OR N = 32 OR N = 17 OR N = 49 OR N = 70 THEN 4940
4902 IF N = 87 THEN PRINT "TAKE A HIKE, BUDDY!!": GOTO 2000
4905 GOSUB 5817
4910 IF N = 83 THEN PRINT "HOLY COW!!! PSYCHEDELIC!!!!! PRETTY COLORS APPEAR AND I'M ELSWHERE!":C = INT ( RND (1) * 3) + 1: GOTO 600
4920 IF N = 58 OR N = 56 THEN PRINT "TOO MOLDY!": GOTO 2000
4925 IF N = 75 THEN PRINT "SORRY...NOT HUNGRY.": GOTO 2000
4927 IF N = 61 THEN SPEED= 20:T = 26: GOSUB 5100: SPEED= 255: GOTO 5000
4935 PRINT "YECCHHH!!!! TASTE'S AWFUL!": GOTO 2000
4940 GOSUB 3206:T = 8: GOSUB 5100
4947 FOR X = 1 TO 10000: NEXT : GOTO 5000
4950 GOSUB 5817
4955 IF N = 52 THEN PRINT "THIS STUFF IS ROT-GUT! GIVE IT TO SOMEONE....I DON'T WANT IT.": GOTO 2000
4960 IF N = 53 THEN SPEED= 20: PRINT "HEH...HEH....HEY!!!! THIS STUFF'S OK!": SPEED= 255: GOTO 2000
4970 IF N = 72 THEN PRINT "SOUR GRAPES.....": GOTO 2000
4980 IF N = 82 THEN PRINT "THANKS!": GOTO 2000
4990 PRINT "GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED!!!": GOTO 2000
5000 PRINT "WELCOME TO PURGATORY!! HERE AT THIS CROSSROADS YOU HAVE THREE OPTIONS:"
5010 PRINT : PRINT "BEFORE YOU ARE THREE DOORS. EACH WILL BRING YOU TO A DIFFERENT PLACE- "
5020 PRINT "A- TO HELL (WHERE THE GAME ENDS)"
5030 PRINT "B- BACK TO LIFE, UNHARMED"
5040 PRINT "C- YOU STAY HERE AND MUST CHOOSE AGAIN"
5041 PRINT
5045 PRINT "THE DOORS ARE RANDOMLY DIFFERENT EACH TIME!!": PRINT
5047 ONERR GOTO 5090
5050 PRINT "CHOOSE YOUR DOOR: 1, 2, OR 3?? ": GET A
5055 IF A = 1 OR A = 2 OR A = 3 THEN 5060
5057 GOTO 5050
5060 X = INT ( RND (1) * 4)
5070 IF A = X THEN GOTO 2000
5080 A = A - 1: IF A < 1 THEN A = 3
5085 IF A = X THEN POKE 34,0: HOME : NEW : END
5090 PRINT "YOU'RE STILL HERE!": GOTO 5050
5100 PRINT D$;OT$: PRINT D$;RT$;T
5110 INPUT NA$: INPUT NB$: INPUT NC$: INPUT ND$
5120 PRINT D$;CT$
5130 GOTO 3790
5150 IF M < 1 THEN PRINT "NO MONEY!!!": GOTO 2000
5155 IF N = 52 OR N = 53 AND C = 3 THEN 5157
5156 GOTO 5169
5157 IF C < > 3 THEN PRINT NY$
5158 IF (N = 52 AND BW = 1) OR (N = 53 AND BB = 1) THEN PRINT "SORRY...TEMPORARILY SOLD OUT": GOTO 2000
5160 PRINT "I GIVE THE BARTENDER $100 AND HE PLACES IT ON THE BAR.":M = M - 1:T = C:F = 32: IF N = 52 THEN BW = 1
5161 IF N = 53 THEN BB = 1
5162 GOTO 3230
5169 IF N < > 72 THEN 5177
5170 IF C < > 21 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5171 IF BI = 1 THEN PRINT "SORRY....ALL OUT!": GOTO 2000
5172 PRINT "THE WAITRESS TAKES $100 AND SAYS SHE'LL RETURN": FOR X = 1 TO 10000: NEXT : PRINT "POOR SERVICE!"
5174 FOR X = 1 TO 5000: NEXT
5175 M = M - 1:T = C:F = 32:X = 0:BI = 1: GOTO 3230
5177 IF N < > 69 THEN 5191
5178 IF C < > 24 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5179 IF LEN (P1$) > 2 THEN PRINT "ALL OUT!!": GOTO 2000
5180 PRINT "THE MAN LEANS OVER THE COUNTER AND WHISPERS:": PRINT "WHAT COLOR?": INPUT P1$
5182 PRINT "AND FOR A FLAVOR??": INPUT P2$
5184 PRINT "LUBRICATED OR NOT (Y/N)??": GET A$: IF A$ = "N" THEN P3$ = "NON-LUBRICATED"
5186 PRINT "RIBBED (Y/N)": GET A$: IF A$ = "N" THEN P4$ = "SMOOTH"
5188 PRINT "HE YELLS- THIS PERVERT JUST BOUGHT A ": PRINT P1$;", ";P2$;"-FLAVORED": PRINT P3$;", ";P4$;" RUBBER!!!!": PRINT : PRINT "A LADY WALKS BY AND LOOKS AT ME IN DISGUST!!!!"
5190 M = M - 1:T = 31:F = C: GOTO 3255
5191 IF N < > 68 THEN 5199
5192 F = C: GOSUB 3210:M = M - 1: PRINT "HE TAKES $100 AND GIVES ME THE MAGAZINE":F = C:T = 31: GOTO 3230
5199 GOTO 2400
5200 IF V1%(C,1) = 0 THEN 3225
5203 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1: IF V1%(C,X) = N THEN 5210
5205 NEXT : PRINT "IT'S NOT ON THE FLOOR HERE!": GOTO 2000
5210 IF N = 77 THEN PRINT "OK":ST = 1: GOTO 2000
5220 N = 0: GOTO 3202
5250 IF C = 27 AND N = 38 THEN PRINT "OK":WA = 1: GOTO 2000
5260 IF C = 27 AND N = 39 THEN PRINT "OK":WA = 0: GOTO 2000
5262 IF N = 38 OR N = 39 THEN 5315
5265 IF PI = 0 THEN PRINT "PITCHER'S EMPTY!": GOTO 2000
5270 IF V1%(C,1) = 0 THEN 5280
5271 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1: IF V1%(C,X) = 59 THEN 5290
5275 NEXT
5280 PRINT "IT POURS INTO THE GROUND":PI = 0: GOTO 2000
5290 IF C < > 28 THEN PRINT "THE SEEDS NEED BETTER SOIL TO GROW": GOTO 5280
5292 PI = 0: PRINT "A TREE SPROUTS!!":V1%(C,X) = 45: GOTO 610
5300 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = 76 THEN 5310
5301 NEXT
5303 PRINT "GET ME THE PITCHER SO I DON'T SPILL IT!": GOTO 2000
5310 IF C = 27 AND WA = 1 THEN PRINT "OK":PI = 1: GOTO 2000
5315 IF C < > 27 THEN PRINT "FIND A WORKING SINK": GOTO 2000
5320 IF WA = 0 THEN PRINT "NO WATER!!!": GOTO 2000
5350 IF N = 82 THEN 5265
5400 IF N < > 65 THEN PRINT "QUIET AS A MOUSE IN HEAT!": GOTO 2000
5415 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = N THEN 5420
5417 NEXT : PRINT "TAKE IT AND PUT IT NEXT TO MY EAR!": GOTO 2000
5420 IF R = 0 THEN PRINT "AN ADVERTISEMENT SAYS 'CALL 555-0987 FORALL YOUR LIQUOR NEEDS!!!!": GOTO 2000
5430 IF R = 1 THEN FLASH : PRINT "PUNK ROCK!!!!!": NORMAL
5440 GOTO 2000
5450 IF N = 8 THEN DE = 0: GOTO 2000
5460 IF N = 35 THEN DD = 0: GOTO 2000
5465 IF N = 30 THEN SS = 0: GOTO 2000
5470 N = 0: GOTO 3202
5500 IF C < > 8 THEN PRINT "WHOOOPEEEEE!!!": GOTO 2000
5510 FOR X = 1 TO 50: PRINT "AAAAAEEEEEIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!": NEXT : PRINT "SPLAAATTTTT!!!!!"
5520 IF C = 10 AND UR = 0 THEN PRINT "I SHOULD HAVE USED SAFETY ROPE!!!!!!!!": GOTO 5000
5550 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = 84 THEN 5553
5551 NEXT : PRINT "I NEED THE REMOTE CONTROL UNIT!": GOTO 2000
5553 IF C < > 5 THEN PRINT "NO TV!": GOTO 2000
5554 IF N = 39 THEN TV = 0: PRINT "OK": GOTO 2000
5555 IF N < > 38 THEN GOTO 2400
5556 IF SC = 0 THEN PRINT "THE DUDE WON'T LET ME!!": GOTO 2000
5560 TV = 1: PRINT "CHOOSE A CHANNEL (1-9)"
5570 INPUT A: IF A < 1 OR A > 9 THEN PRINT "HUH?": GOTO 5570
5590 BD = 0: IF A = 6 THEN BD = 1
5600 T = A + 10: GOSUB 5100
5610 PRINT : PRINT "CHANGE THE CHANNEL?(Y/N)"
5620 GET IN$: IF IN$ = "N" THEN 2000
5630 GOTO 5560
5650 IF C < > 21 THEN 5670
5651 IF C = 21 AND N = 60 AND QC = 0 AND GC < 3 THEN GC = GC + 1:QC = 1: PRINT "SHE SMILES AND EATS A COUPLE!!"
5655 IF C = 21 AND N = 57 THEN GC = GC + 1: PRINT "SHE BLUSHES PROFUSELY AND PUTS THEM IN HER HAIR!":V1%(F,X) = V1%(F,V1%(F,1) + 1):V1%(F,1) = V1%(F,1) - 1: IF GC < > 3 THEN 2000
5657 IF C = 21 AND N = 51 THEN GC = GC + 1: PRINT "SHE BLUSHES AND PUTS IT IN HER PURSE.":V1%(F,X) = V1%(F,V1%(F,1) + 1):V1%(F,1) = V1%(F,1) - 1: IF GC < > 3 THEN 2000
5659 IF GC < > 3 THEN RETURN
5660 PRINT "SHE SAYS 'SEE YOU AT THE MARRIAGE CENTER!!":GC = 4:F = C:T = 12:N = 49: GOTO 3255
5670 IF C < > 22 OR N < > 72 THEN 5686
5671 IF WI = 1 THEN PRINT "THE BUM MUTTERS 'THAT STUFF MADE ME PUKE!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!": GOTO 2000
5672 PRINT "HE LOOKS AT ME AND STARTS TO SPEAK..."
5675 WI = 1:T = 9: SPEED= 30: GOSUB 5100
5680 PRINT "AFTER ALL YOU MAY GET IN A PROGRAM BUG": SPEED= 255: POKE 34,0
5685 FOR X = 1 TO 255: PRINT "LIKE I DID!!!": HTAB X: NEXT :V1%(C,V1%(C,1) + 2) = 66:V1%(C,1) = V1%(C,1) + 1: HOME : VTAB 24: PRINT "HE THROWS UP AND GIVES ME BACK THE WINE": GOTO 590
5686 IF C < > 26 OR N < > 75 THEN 5690
5687 T = 20: GOSUB 5100:AA = 1: RETURN
5690 IF N = 69 THEN WR = 0
5691 IF N = 81 THEN UR = 0
5692 IF N < > 61 OR C < > 19 OR BG = 1 THEN 5696
5693 T = 27: GOSUB 5100:BG = 1: FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1: IF V1%(C,X) = 25 THEN V1%(C,X) = V1%(C,V1%(C,1) + 1):V1%(C,1) = V1%(C,1) - 1:T = 6: RETURN
5695 NEXT
5696 IF N < > 52 OR C < > 1 THEN RETURN
5697 V1%(31,X) = V1%(31,V1%(31,1) + 1):V1%(31,1) = V1%(31,1) - 1: PRINT "THE GUY GIVES ME A TV CONTROLLER!!":V1%(C,V1%(C,1) + 2) = 84:V1%(C,1) = V1%(C,1) + 1: GOTO 600
5700 IF N < > 49 THEN PRINT "NO WAY, WIERDO!!": GOTO 2000
5705 IF C < > 12 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5710 IF GC < > 4 THEN PRINT "NO GIRL!!": GOTO 2000
5712 IF M < 20 THEN PRINT "THE GIRL SAYS 'BUT YOU'LL NEED $2000 FORTHE HONEYMOON SUITE!": GOTO 2000
5713 IF M < 30 THEN PRINT "THE PREACHER SAYS 'I'LL NEED $1000 ALSO!'": GOTO 2000
5715 PRINT "OK": FOR X = 1 TO 500: NEXT : PRINT "WHY AM I DOING THIS!?!?!": FOR X = 1 TO 500: NEXT :GC = 5:M = M - 30
5720 PRINT "THE PREACHER TAKES $1000 AND WINKS!": PRINT "THE GIRL GRABS $2000 AND SAYS 'MEET ME AT THE HONEYMOON SUITE! I'VE GOT CONNECTIONS TO GET A ROOM THERE!!"
5725 F = C:T = 16:N = 49: GOTO 3255
5800 IF N = 86 THEN PRINT "NOT TONIGHT- I HAVE A HEADACHE!": GOTO 2000
5805 IF N < > 17 AND C < > 9 THEN 5815
5810 IF FH = 1 THEN PRINT "SHE CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!!": GOTO 2000
5813 IF WR = 0 THEN PRINT "OH NO!!!! I'VE GOT THE DREADED ATOMIC CLAP!!! I'M DEAD!!": FOR X = 1 TO 1000: NEXT : GOTO 5000
5814 T = 21: GOSUB 5100:SC = 1:FH = 1: GOTO 2000
5815 IF N < > 74 THEN 5830
5816 GOSUB 5817: GOTO 5822
5817 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = N THEN Y = 31: RETURN
5818 NEXT
5819 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(C,1) + 1: IF V1%(C,X) = N THEN Y = C: RETURN
5820 NEXT : PRINT "I CAN'T FIND IT!": GOTO 2000
5822 IF ID = 1 THEN T = 22: GOSUB 5100:V1%(Y,X) = V1%(Y,V1%(Y,1) + 1):V1%(Y,1) = V1%(Y,1) - 1:ID = 2: GOTO 590
5825 IF ID = 0 THEN PRINT "INFLATE IT FIRST- STUPID!!!": GOTO 2000
5830 IF N < > 49 THEN 5880
5831 F = C: GOSUB 3210
5835 IF C < > 26 THEN 5840
5836 IF AA < > 1 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5837 T = 23: GOSUB 5100: NEW : END
5840 IF GC < 5 OR C < > 16 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5842 IF GC < > 6 THEN PRINT "SHE SAYS 'GET ME WINE!!! I'M NERVOUS!!'": GOTO 2000
5845 T = 24: GOSUB 5100:R = 1:SC = SC + 1:RR = 1:V1%(C,X) = 81: GOTO 590
5880 F = C: GOSUB 3210: IF N = 32 THEN PRINT "SHE KICKS ME IN THE GROIN AND SAYS 'WISE UP- BUSTER!!'": GOTO 2000
5885 IF N = 25 THEN PRINT "SHE SAYS 'I'M WORKING! LEAVE ME ALONE!'": GOTO 2000
5887 IF N = 16 THEN PRINT "HE SAYS 'YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR ME- FOOL!!!' I GUESS HE'S GAY!": GOTO 2000
5890 IF N = 27 THEN PRINT "TO DO THAT I NEED VASELINE!!": GOTO 2000
5893 IF N = 15 THEN PRINT "HE JUMPS OVER THE BAR AND KILLS ME!!": GOTO 5000
5895 IF N = 13 THEN PRINT "NO WAY!!! YOU'RE WIERD!!": GOTO 2000
5899 PRINT "PERVERT!": GOTO 2000
5900 IF N < > 69 THEN 5912
5910 F = 31: GOSUB 3260:WR = 1: PRINT "IT TICKLES!!!!": GOTO 2000
5912 IF N < > 12 THEN 5916
5913 F = C: GOSUB 3210
5915 SPEED= 10: PRINT "...........I GOT THOSE CONSTIPATION BLUES............................": SPEED= 255: PRINT "AHHH...RELIEF! THANKS!": GOTO 2000
5916 IF N < > 26 THEN 5921
5917 F = C: GOSUB 3210: SPEED= 20: PRINT "AHHHHH........SLEEP!!!"
5918 FOR X = 1 TO 5: PRINT D$;OT$: PRINT D$;CT$: NEXT
5920 PRINT "YOUR DISK IS SNORING!!! I CAN'T SLEEP!": SPEED= 255: GOTO 2000
5921 IF N < > 81 THEN 5928
5924 IF C = 7 OR C = 10 THEN 5926
5925 PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
5926 F = 31: GOSUB 5817:UR = 1: PRINT "OK": GOTO 2000
5928 IF N < > 64 THEN 5930
5929 GOTO 4631
5930 IF N < > 66 THEN 5935
5931 GOTO 6205
5935 IF N < > 54 THEN 2400
5936 PRINT "TRY GIVING IT TO HER": GOTO 2000
5950 IF C = 30 THEN PRINT "THIS ONLY TAKES INCOMING CALLS!!": GOTO 2000
5951 IF C < > 20 THEN PRINT "THERE'S NO PHONE!": GOTO 2000
5952 IF QNN$ = "555-6969" AND LEN (T1$) = 0 THEN 5970
5953 IF QNN$ < > "555-0439" THEN 5969
5954 PRINT "HI THERE!!! THIS IS CHUCK (THE AUTHOR OF THIS ABSURD GAME). IF YOU'RE A VOLUPTOUS BLONDE WHO'S LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME THEN CALL ME IMMEDIATELY!!!!": GOTO 2000
5969 GOTO 5981
5970 PRINT "A VOICE SAYS 'HELLO, PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH ONE WORD ANSWERS!"
5971 INPUT "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE GIRLS NAME?";T1$
5972 INPUT "NAME A NICE PART OF HER ANATOMY.";T2$
5973 INPUT "WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO WITH HER?";T3$
5974 INPUT "AND THE BEST PART OF YOUR BODY?!?";T4$
5975 INPUT "FINALLY, YOUR FAVORITE OBJECT?";T5$
5980 TE = 1: PRINT "HE HANGS UP!!!!!": GOTO 2000
5981 IF QNN$ < > "555-0987" THEN 5999
5984 IF GC < > 5 THEN PRINT "SOMEBODY ANSWERS AND HANGS UP!!!!": GOTO 2000
5985 PRINT "A VOICE ANSWERS AND SAYS 'WINE FOR THE NERVOUS NEWLYWEDS!! COMING RIGHT UP!!!!"
5986 GC = 6
5990 V1%(16,V1%(16,1) + 2) = 72:V1%(16,1) = V1%(16,1) + 1: GOTO 2000
5999 PRINT "NOBODY ANSWERS": GOTO 2000
6000 IF N < > 34 THEN PRINT "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO!!": GOTO 2000
6010 IF TE < > 1 THEN PRINT "IT'S NOT RINGING!": GOTO 2000
6020 TE = 0: PRINT "A GIRL SAYS 'HI HONEY! THIS IS ";T1$;".": PRINT "DEAR, WHY DON'T YOU FORGET THIS GAME AND ";T3$;" WITH ME???": PRINT "AFTER ALL, YOUR ";T4$;" HAS ALWAYS TURNED ME ON!!!!"
6030 PRINT "SO BRING A ";T5$;" AND COME": PRINT "PLAY WITH MY ";T2$;" !!!!": PRINT "SHE HANGS UP!!": GOTO 2000
6100 FOR X = 2 TO V1%(31,1) + 1: IF V1%(31,X) = N THEN PRINT "I'M ALREADY CARRYING IT!": POP : GOTO 2000
6110 NEXT : RETURN
6150 IF N < > 46 THEN 2400
6160 IF C < > 8 THEN PRINT "IT'S NOT HERE!": GOTO 2000
6165 PRINT "LET ME SEE IF I HAVE A HAMMER"
6170 N = 55:F = 31: GOSUB 3260: PRINT "THE WINDOW SMASHES TO PIECES!":D%(8) = 8: GOTO 600
6200 IF N < > 81 THEN 2400
6205 GOSUB 5817
6207 F = 31: PRINT "LET ME SEE IF I STILL HAVE THE KNIFE!":N = 66: GOSUB 3260
6208 IF RR = 2 THEN PRINT "SAMURAI SEX FIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!": FOR X = 1 TO 1000: NEXT : PRINT "I STAB MYSELF IN ECSTACY!": GOTO 5000
6210 IF RR < > 1 THEN PRINT "I DON'T WANT TO! "
6220 RR = 2: PRINT "I DO AND IT WORKED! THANKS!": GOTO 2000
6240 PRINT "BUT I'M TIED TO THE BED!!!!!": GOTO 2000
6250 Y = 0
6255 FOR X = 1 TO 550: NEXT X: PRINT "BOOGIE WOOGIE!!!!"
6260 FOR X = 1 TO 1150: NEXT X: PRINT "YEH YEH YEH!!!"
6270 IF Y = 10 THEN PRINT "I GOT THE STEPS, MAN!!": GOTO 2000
6280 Y = Y + 1: GOTO 6255
6300 PRINT "TRY USING A KNIFE!!!": GOTO 2000
6350 IF N < > 16 THEN 2400
6355 IF C < > 5 THEN PRINT NY$: GOTO 2000
6357 IF FH = 1 THEN PRINT "HE SAYS 'I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY- STUD!": GOTO 2000
6360 PRINT "TRY GOING UP- HE'LL TAKE THE MONEY THEN": GOTO 2000
6385 GOTO 2400
6400 IF N = 47 THEN PRINT "A COP BEATS ME OVER THE HEAD!!!!": GOTO 5000
6430 GOTO 2400
6450 IF N < > 64 THEN 2400
6460 GOTO 4631
6500 GOSUB 5817
6505 IF N = 25 THEN PRINT "HMMM.....NICE!!!!": GOTO 2000
6510 IF N = 17 THEN PRINT "OK, WHO'S EATING TUNA FISH?!?!?": GOTO 2000
6520 IF N = 12 THEN SPEED= 2: PRINT "ARGHHH....I'M GOING TO PUKE!!!!!": SPEED= 255: GOTO 2000
6530 IF N = 47 THEN PRINT "AHH..CHOOO!!!!!!! I GUESS I'M ALLERGIC!": GOTO 2000
6540 IF N = 56 THEN PRINT "YECHHHHH!!!!!": GOTO 2000
6550 IF N = 57 THEN PRINT "SMELLS JUST LIKE PERFUME!!!": GOTO 2000
6560 PRINT "SMELLS OK": GOTO 2000
8000 ONERR GOTO 8020
8002 IF PEEK (222) = 255 THEN PRINT "THAT'S A NO-NO...TRY 'Q'!": GOTO 2000
8003 POKE 768,104: POKE 769,168: POKE 770,104: POKE 771,166: POKE 772,223: POKE 773,154: POKE 774,72: POKE 775,152: POKE 776,72: POKE 777,96
8007 ONERR GOTO 8020
8009 CALL 768: IF LZ = 1 THEN 8020:LZ = 1: RESUME
8020 ONERR GOTO 8030: POP : POP : POP : POP : POP : POP
8030 ONERR GOTO 8040: NEXT : NEXT : NEXT : NEXT : NEXT
8040 POKE 216,0: PRINT FRE (0): VTAB PEEK (37): CALL - 868: GOTO 2000
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